You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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