I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
