Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
