So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
