so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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