You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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