i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
