Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
honey bunches of taint.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
