New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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