I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
