She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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