Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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