i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
