We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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