Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
wow bdsm is so cute
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
