How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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