Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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