The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize