So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize