its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
