I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
