I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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