the day after is always just damage control
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
