you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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