is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We were destined to go to rehab together
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
