Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
