Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
