I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
