he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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