I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
