found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
