If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
