They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
