u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
