i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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