playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
