Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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