think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
