I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
