she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
