I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
