Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
