the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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