Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
