I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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