I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
