Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
