Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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