Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
