As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
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If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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