wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
