i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
