just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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