There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
