he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
