Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
tonight lets celebrate not being married
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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