Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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