hotel room ftw
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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