i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
