They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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