so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
