He passed out mid-signature
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
