? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
